I worked in SF (1st & Market, 3rd & Howard, 5th & Mission) for 20+ years. My advice is to forget about BBQ and enjoy the foods that are done well in SF. While I've barbecued all my life, I never got that serious about it as a necessity until I moved here, since I was surrounded by excellent Texas BBQ joints.
Near Moscone Center, I'd assume Thirsty Bear still does a very good paella and excellent fried calamari along with very good beers. More in the Financial District, Piperade is excellent, as is Kokkari. In SOMA, Le Charm no longer serves lunch, but is a good choice for dinner. Near Union Square, Cafe Claude does good bistro fare. If you're into Mexican food, find a local to give you up-to-date information on good places in the Mission district and stay away from Chevy's and the like. It's just been too long since I've been in the Mission for me to suggest a place, as I've been concentrating on the offerings in Marin instead. For seafood, there are hundreds of fine choices. One of the easiest to find and to get into is Scoma's at Fisherman's Wharf (yeah, I know, but it's a must for tourists for some reason) - the food's much better than you should expect at the Wharf, and their cioppino was superb the last time I tried it. And of course you should visit some of the Italian and pizza places around North Beach - there are several good ones there. Chinese food's abundant, as is Thai. Enjoy.
If you're on an unlimited expense account, there are more fine choices than you'll be able to try during your stay. I've only listed reasonably-priced ones, as the top-tier places are very well-known.