After Action Report: Cheater Brisket, Emergency Pork shoulder, & Grilled Beef Tenderloin

Brontoburger

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We usually do a 3-day Memorial Day/Multi-birthday party. The plan was for brisket for Saturday night dinner and lunch and snacking the next day, and whole beef tenderloin for Sunday. Plans are good, but we always said in the service that no plan survives contact with the enemy intact.

Brisket: 8.8# packer, SPOG, naked, no fat cap. 4 hrs in the WSM, 6 hrs in the oven @ 250
First time ever using just SPOG instead of a commercial rub. I’m a convert!
I have to confess: when I stay up past my bedtime I get a severe case of the F*ck-its. That causes me to cut corners and commit crimes against meat. That’s why I rarely do briskets and why my brisket game is still not 100%. Also, whenever my wife sees me eyeing a full packer she says “What, do you think we’re feeding an army?”

So for Saturday dinner I started on Friday evening with a smallish packer. Mixed up some SPOG using about 35% kosher salt (by volume), 45% Monterey Bay 16 mesh black pepper, 10% coarse cracked black pepper, 5% each garlic powder and onion powder. Injected with low sodium beef broth and L.S. Worcestershire. Had the WSM coming up to temp while I did all this and trimmed the fat cap completely off. Meat went on at 7:45PM. Burning Royal Oak and pecan and apple chunks.

The plan was to smoke for around 4 hours or so, then transfer to a roasting pan into the oven for the night while I got some sleep, then finish in the morning and either hold over or refrigerate until dinner. Ran the WSM at 250 and went a bit stronger than sweet blue. Went into the oven around 11:30 uncovered. Smell kept waking me up all night.

Got up at 5:30 and went straight to probe. Opened the oven and the bark looked perfect, best I’ve ever done. Brisket shrank considerably. Probed nice and soft. IT was 205. CRAP! IT’S DONE NOW! (actually slightly over if you count carryover cooking, which you should) Ok…….:doh:

Took the roaster out and set it out on the stovetop, covered. When it was down to room temp (about 3 hours) I wrapped it in foil and put it in the fridge. I said the brisket shrank, right? We were counting on enough for dinner on Saturday and then leftovers for snacking on Sunday afternoon. Didn’t look like that was going to happen.

Pork: I had a 7# +/- pork shoulder in the freezer. Remember what I said about my brisket game being a bit lacking? Well, I can farking rock a pork shoulder! On my worst day. Filled the sink with cool water. Stuck the shoulder in a 2 gal Ziploc and thawed for about an hour and a half to 2 hours.
Had the smoker lit, pork trimmed and rubbed and on the grate by 2 PM. Blues Hog. Love the Blues Hog. Cherry chunks for smoke. Ran the smoker around 250. Also at this time I’m grilling lunch-burgers, dogs and sausage, and shucking 25 ears of corn for dinner with the brisket. Pretty much cooked lunch 3 times as groups of people arrived. Took the brisket out around 5 and warmed it in foil on the kettle while the corn was grilling. Sliced it and arranged slices into a glass baking dish layered with The Shed Spicy Vinegar (my favorite). Covered the dish with foil and put it back on the grill with the corn. Kept turning it because I just wanted to warm it, not cook it more. Hot corn went into a large foil pan with S&P and lots of butter. If the brisket was a movie it would be Gone In 60 Seconds. They inhaled it! Lucky I taste-tested liberally during the cook because it was gone by the time I got time to eat.:roll:
Transferred the pork to a crock pot at 10 PM. I go to bed early so I can get up early to cook breakfast. The drinkers in the family-pretty much everyone but me, stayed up all night. Crock pot went in the garage on low. Not keeping me awake tonight! Turned the pot off when I got up. Let it cool for a couple hours then took it back to my grill station. Picked/pulled the pork before lunch. I really don’t like the ‘gloop’ in a pork shoulder, so I pick through it pretty thoroughly.
Pulled pork went back into another crock pot along with about half a cup of the juices from the cook. I don’t always use these because they can be very strong, but this time they were good. Also half a cup of apple cider vinegar, a tsp of thyme, 2 tsp hot red pepper flakes and a stick of butter. Tossed the pulled pork every few minutes while I grilled lunch on the kettle. I have to say this was a personal best pork shoulder for me.:clap2:

Tenderloin: Sunday after lunch I washed and dried 25 potatoes. Rubbed with olive oil and dusted with SPOG. Trimmed and washed a crapload of asparagus. Put the potatoes in the oven.

Trimmed and tied the tenderloin. This has become a tradition. 2 years ago one of the in-law brothers showed up with a whole $80 tenderloin and said “You can grill this, right?” Huh! Gut check time. Yup, sure can!:thumb: It came out great so now he brings one every year.

This year it was a 6 ½ pounder. I trimmed it (hate throwing that much away), and tied the thin end over the middle with butcher’s string so that the tenderloin had a uniform thickness. This usually gives me fits and ends up looking like crap but this time my fingers just knew what to do and it came out looking like Gordon Ramsay himself did it. Put it back in the fridge while I had a beer and relaxed for an hour. Got the kettle lit. More Royal Oak. Set up for a hot indirect fire. Getting lots of compliments on the pork. Took the beef back out to come to room temp.

Set out a cutting board, timer, and digital probe therm. Got out my Shun offset slicer. Sheet of heavy duty foil and thick kitchen towels. Rubbed the tenderloin with Oak Ridge Santa Maria. I used this a few weeks ago on a tri-tip and loved it. Sprayed the loin lightly with olive oil. Fire looks good. GAME TIME!
Oiled the grate. Put the loin on and set the timer for 10 minutes. Toss in a couple chunks of pecan. Close the lid. I’ll turn it every 10 minutes or so. I’m shooting for an IT of 135, rest and carryover to about 145. Should be about 45 min till serve time.
Fanned out the asparagus on a 15 inch perforated grill pan. I use it mostly for grilled pizza. Drizzle with oil and more SPOG. 5 minutes in I checked the meat just to make sure it was right in relation to the fire. Looks good. Too early to probe. Turned the loin once, 10 more minutes and turned again. Looking real good. More wood chunks. No sweet blue here.

So we’re about 25 minutes in and I’m starting to probe for IT. Cooking with the lid off now and turning more frequently to even up the sear, babysitting the loin. Send a guest inside to give my wife a 20 minute warning. Starting to rain. More probing and turning. One end at 135, other end slightly over. Pull the loin and place it on the cutting board under foil and towels. Put on the pan of asparagus. This worked really well since I could spin it every couple of minutes so none of it burned, and I didn’t lose any through the grates. TIME TO SLICE AND PLATE THE MEAT! Slice meat and turn the asparagus. Turn and slice. Back and forth like a machine. It’s raining lightly and everyone’s playing beer pong in the rain and I’m cooking like an Iron Chef. In the rain.

And then, just at my critical time, the bbq gods decided to throw me a curveball in the form of a drunk in-law to hover, not only in my tight work area, but RIGHT IN MY PERSONAL SPACE (THANKS!), discussing the merits of various sauces and condiments.:mad:

Sliced loin is looking phenom! Nice pink blush end to end, pretty much med. to med well. Not losing too much juice, so the rest was worth it. Immediately regret not doing some kind of pan sauce. Oh well. Arranged slices on a serving platter, called for a runner. Pulled the asparagus off and laid it out on both sides of the loin. Sent the platter in and called DINNER!

Sat the fark down in the rain at my post and cracked a beer. Job well done.
Between the brisket (which was not perfect but I think experience and care saved it), the pulled pork, and the tenderloin I’m calling it my Memorial Day weekend Hat Trick. And on Monday I made a crock pot full of oatmeal for breakfast and everyone went home. The End.:bow:
Sorry, no pr0n, didn't have time. Oh, and my gas grill died this year so it was challenging doing just charcoal.
 
Yeah, I've been jacked like you must be about a cook, but -

CLIFFs CLIFFs..... and pics would help!
 
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