I plan on only doing a few things where I need helpers. when I'm at home.
Big cuts of meat such as briskets, pork butts, roasts all get done 2-6 hours before food is to be served. The resting time on them is important and they will hold well if you wrap in foil and put in a cambro or cooler.
Items such as chicken and ribs I pretty much go straight from the smoker to the table. Chickens get a short 15 minute rest, ribs go on the table immediately. I will have the table set and when I know the ribs/chicken are sauced.
Sides I prepare so all that needs to be done is get them finished cooking within an hour of the food served. I keep items warm in the oven or in the cambro. Crispy items, I won't cook until it is food service time and that is the last item on the table. I do make sure though that all I have to do with those items is throw them in to cook, this is so that no time is wasted putting it together (ie batters are made, oil is hot and ready to go, sauces are done and ready to go etc)
Obviously knowing which foods do well with holding for longer periods of time help when determining when you can start cooking foods to put into the cambro/cooler or oven to hold.
Here is an example of my timeline for dinner guests arriving about 7pm. If it was a brisket, pulled pork and ribs w/ mac and cheese, beans, roasted veggie, seasonal salad, corn bread,
7- 8am - Get pit started cooking at 325, put pot of water on the stove
8- 9am - Trim pork butts and brisket *can be done the night before*
NO LATER THAN 9AM - Briskets, butts, fatties on the pit
9-930AM - clean dishes used to trim pork butts and briskets
930- 1pm - get Mise-En-Place for mac and cheese and beans ready (including taking hte fatties off the smoker), this also includes washing dishes used.
1- 130PM - Check the color of the brisket and pork butts. If they at their color wrap them up, if not let it go and check back in 30minutes
130-2pm - clean up any dishes, surf the web, play vidya games, watch tv whatever.
2PM - wrap the meats no matter what. By this time the color is typically good on all of the meats cooking at 300-325. Prep the ribs
230-3pm - assemble the mac and cheese and the beans so they are ready to go on the smoker or in the oven (place in fridge to hold)
3pm-4pm - play vidya games, talk to neighbors, bs around the house.
4PM- Put ribs on the smoker and check for doneness on the brisket and the pork butts.
4pm-5pm - Start chopping up veggies to roast and for the salad
4:30PM - check brisket and pork butts for doneness again if they were close at 4PM
5PM - Brisket and Pork Butts should all be off of the pit and resting. Beans and Mac and Cheese go into the smoker
5PM-6PM - finish cutting the veggies to roast and get them in the oven, make corn bread batter and get that into the oven (or smoker), make the seasonal salad and put in fridge to hold.
6PM-630PM - check doneness of ribs and sauce. Mac and cheese and beans should be done or close to done. Take them out of they are ready, if not let them go a little bit longer.
6:30-640PM - take a quick shower so I don't smell like a campfire
6:40PM - 7PM - take out the mac and cheese, and beans and put them on the table. Put out salad onto the table. Plate up the roasted veggies and corn bread and put that onto the table. Put sauces and plates on table etc. (this is where your helpers make it easier. They can set the table and take the food from you and place it on the table) Take ribs out of the pit if they are ready, if they need longer let them go.
7-7:15PM - slice brisket and pull pork butts and put on table. Take ribs out of the smoker and slice and put on table. Helpers should be putting the meats on the table.
7:00-7:20PM - A-hole foodies take pictures of the dishes as they come out and then of the final meal put together. If everybody is there, enjoy the food right away.
If not, wait till 7:30PM and then eat. If they are 30 minutes late than when the party starts, they can eat cold food because screw making the others wait for later comers.
Don't be afraid to make the guest wait for 10-15minutes while you are finishing up plating the foods. It is pretty impressive to your guests seeing an almost empty table and then not even 10-15minutes after they arrive the table is packed full of hot dericious food that you cooked. It also gives you time to show off some of your skills when slicing the briskets and ribs and pulling the pork. That process everybody loves to see especially when they walk into the kitchen and they get the first smells of the bbq as you pull it out of the cooler/cambro.
Experience, time management, and good knife skills will afford you much more time in the timeline to do other things. Stuff like more vidya game playing, maybe a nap, laundry, cleaning up the house etc. For any party that guests arrive after 6pm I can wake up by 7AM and get all the cooking done, clean the living room, dining room, sweep and mop the floors, clean the bathroom, do a few loads of laundry, do the dishes as I cook, take a short nap, watch tv or a movie, bs with neighbors, and get a shower, and do it all at a leisurely pace (except from 630-730PM since that is crunch time)