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-   -   How hard is it to make a BBQ Sauce? (https://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showthread.php?t=78471)

Three porks 02-15-2010 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barbefunkoramaque (Post 1183399)
start with the liquid ingredients first. Aretha franklin, billy ocean, frank sinatra, sir duke, billy dee williams etc, the really watery stuff. Do not put in your fred wesleys, sly stone or family stones in at this stage.

Bring thin liquids to a mother popcorn first and give them the heatwave with the spices first and for only 3rd of a fifteen minute man. This infuses the spices and makes them funky in your funky stank thang. You do not want to leave at a popcorn for too long or it will evaporate.

Next add your little richards, your james browns but not your jackie wilsons, aunt jemima's, your taste of honey, grace jones, moms mabley or nuthin at this stage either. The point is to get james or little richard to melt into the nectar of spices and liquids you made.

This needs to come down to a phillip bailey so you can add your wesley's and your sly or family stone at this time. Make this funky, close the high hat up and back off your mic for a while.

The final additions of your pectin based funk should be added last. Jackie, jams, jellies, jamimas and joo joos can be added last.

Once this is done, so sauce is complete unless you gave it time to break out in a cold sweat.

wtf?

landarc 02-15-2010 10:16 PM

Don't any of you have the Barbefunkoramaque glossary handy?

I should make you all search for this, but, I don't want to get smacked...
http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/sh...ad.php?t=66331

Captain Dave 02-15-2010 10:46 PM

What who what is Billy Ocean? No more love on the run?

frognot 02-16-2010 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KuyasKitchen (Post 1183426)
Bloody hell! Where's that glossary when you need it?


Bookmark this bad boy in all it's funky glory http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/sh...ad.php?t=66331

Just noticed landarc beat me to this. Hell, it's 0310 & i'm screwing the pooch at work.

bigabyte 02-16-2010 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frognot (Post 1183669)
Hell, it's 0310 & i'm screwing the pooch at work.

:shock::shock::shock:You actually get paid for that?:shock::shock::shock:

seattlepitboss 02-16-2010 08:48 AM

Uh, OK, funk, what the heck is Grace Jones and Moms Mabley?

seattlepitboss 02-16-2010 08:53 AM

OK, guys, without more definitions from our infinitely colorful funkster, this is the best translation I can do:

Start with the liquid ingredients FIRST. Vinegar, water, olive oil, worcestershire sauce, beer etc, the really watery stuff. DO NOT put in your mustards, ketchup, or tomato sauce in at this stage.

Bring thin liquids to a boil first and give them the HeatWave with the SPICES first and for only five minutes. This infuses the spices and makes them funky in your funky stank thang. You do not want to leave at a boil for too long or it will evaporate.

Next add your sugars, your brown sugars but not your corn syrups, maple syrups, honey, Grace Jones, Moms Mabley or nuthin at this stage either. The point is to get the brown sugar or white sugar to melt into the nectar of spices and liquids you made.

This needs to come down to a simmer so you can add your mustards and your ketchup or tomato sauce at this time. Continue to simmer for awhile.

The final additions of your pectin based funk should be added last. Corn syrup, jams, jellies, syrups and joo joos can be added last.

Once this is done, so sauce is complete unless you gave it time to break out in a cold sweat.

bigabyte 02-16-2010 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seattlepitboss (Post 1183797)
OK, guys, without more definitions from our infinitely colorful funkster, this is the best translation I can do:

Start with the liquid ingredients FIRST. Vinegar, water, olive oil, worcestershire sauce, beer etc, the really watery stuff. DO NOT put in your mustards, ketchup, or tomato sauce in at this stage.

Bring thin liquids to a boil first and give them the HeatWave with the SPICES first and for only five minutes. This infuses the spices and makes them funky in your funky stank thang. You do not want to leave at a boil for too long or it will evaporate.

Next add your sugars, your brown sugars but not your corn syrups, maple syrups, honey, Grace Jones, Moms Mabley or nuthin at this stage either. The point is to get the brown sugar or white sugar to melt into the nectar of spices and liquids you made.

This needs to come down to a simmer so you can add your mustards and your ketchup or tomato sauce at this time. Continue to simmer for awhile.

The final additions of your pectin based funk should be added last. Corn syrup, jams, jellies, syrups and joo joos can be added last.

Once this is done, so sauce is complete unless you gave it time to break out in a cold sweat.

WTF? That's more like Milli-Vanilli!

Capn Kev 02-16-2010 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barbefunkoramaque (Post 1183399)
Start with the liquid ingredients FIRST. Aretha Franklin, Billy Ocean, Frank Sinatra, Sir Duke, Billy Dee Williams etc, the really watery stuff. DO NOT put in your Fred Wesleys, Sly Stone or Family Stones in at this stage.

Bring thin liquids to a mother popcorn first and give them the HeatWave with the SPICES first and for only 3rd of a Fifteen Minute Man. This infuses the spices and makes them funky in your funky stank thang. You do not want to leave at a popcorn for too long or it will evaporate.

Next add your Little Richards, your James Browns but not your Jackie Wilsons, Aunt Jemima's, your Taste of Honey, Grace Jones, Moms Mabley or nuthin at this stage either. The point is to get James or Little Richard to melt into the nectar of spices and liquids you made.

This needs to come down to a Phillip Bailey so you can add your Wesley's and your Sly or family stone at this time. Make this funky, close the high hat up and back off your mic for a while.

The final additions of your pectin based funk should be added last. Jackie, jams, jellies, jamimas and joo joos can be added last.

Once this is done, so sauce is complete unless you gave it time to break out in a cold sweat.

Looks like some Widespread Panic to me! :-D

barbefunkoramaque 02-16-2010 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seattlepitboss (Post 1183791)
Uh, OK, funk, what the heck is Grace Jones and Moms Mabley?

Mole Sauce and Prickly Pear Nectar if you use it.

FretBender 02-16-2010 10:07 AM

Now you went and did it! You get started making sauces you may never stop, but it's a good diversion from making rubs and cooking BBQ!

barbefunkoramaque 02-16-2010 11:21 AM

Hey Fret Bender... ever seen a five string bend?

Southern Home Boy 02-16-2010 01:19 PM

Nobody mentioned Mole butts... I'm surprised.

Molasses makes a great addition to a tomato-based sauce. It sweetens and thickens at the same time. Plus it adds a nice dark, rich flavor that you don't get with just brown sugar or syrups.

Lake Dogs 02-16-2010 01:33 PM

Mayretter, I too enjoy the sauce of a mustard persuasion on occasion. However, we're
in a minority.

I've had pretty good reviews on this sauce:

Tomato Sauce
Pure Cane Syrup
Grape Jelly (Yep, not a typo)
Lee & Perins Worchestershire
a little cayenne pepper

Southern Home Boy 02-16-2010 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lake Dogs (Post 1184147)
Mayretter, I too enjoy the sauce of a mustard persuasion on occasion. However, we're
in a minority.

I love a good S. Carolina Mustard Sauce. It's just that most folks in my vicinity aren't familiar with 'em, so I don't use them too much.

If it's not sweet, thick, tomatoey and sticky, then it ain't barbecue sauce.:icon_smil


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